Thursday, 17 July 2014

Demons in your head?

I was in McDonalds recently.

To be honest I've been there quite a lot of late, usually around 11:00pm after completing some DIY at the house I've bought. I pass a 24hr McDonalds on my journey back to the rented accommodation I'm currently living in and just as my Levemir injection alarm goes off I'm usually tucking into a McFlurry treat!

The other night whilst eating a delightful Dairy Milk McFlurry, a song came on and I asked my phone to tell me what I was listening to... why? because I'd heard "the c word" in the lyrics.

For the avoidance of doubt, "the c word" is... carbohydrates!

...and it turned out the song was Vertigo by Rumer.

The song isn't the style of music I'd normally listen to, but ever since my diabetes diagnosis my ears have been able to tune into any conversation that mentions the c word with laser like precision. Although the song isn't about diabetes (far from it!), with a few tweaks here and there it certainly could be...
The concept of carbohydrates at 4am in the morning obviously has a slightly different meaning in my version of the song and I'll admit to playing it on repeat at the moment because (in my version) the lyrics are ALL about diabetes.

The challenge of diabetes isn't always obvious to those around us, sometimes there can be battles going on inside our heads and dealing with those "demons" can take its toll on our emotional, mental and physical well-being. Yet, bravely(?), we continue to tell those around us that we are fine. Trying to fool everyone (including ourselves) that everything is ok and that we are "managing" to deal with the condition.

Why do we do it? Are we too hung up with "not being a burden"? Do we decide help won't be available without really knowing and therefore decide not to ask? Maybe we feel ashamed of the need to ask?

There certainly isn't any shame in asking for assistance to overcome the "demons" and there should be no barriers in obtaining the help needed. So why do we lie to ourselves and others?

Imagine informing someone that they'd been signed up to a full time job which they cannot quit, that it came with no holidays for the rest of their lives, no weekends off, no opportunity to have a day off sick and indeed if they were unwell they would need to put in a double shift. It wouldn't take long before they were screaming for help. That's how cruel the employer Diabetes is - and in many ways it can be much, much worse!

So why not go into battle with the demons in your head (and help yourself and those around you) by sharing them with your HCP? After all, a problem shared might not be a problem halved... it might be a problem resolved.

Appropriate lyrics?

Pass me the bottle, pour me the wine.
I might be face down on the table, but I assure you I'm doing just fine.
Give me a cigarette, you heard what I said,
'cause I'm going into battle with the demons in my head.

'Cause I've seen trouble, I've seen more than my share.
I said I've seen trouble and I don't care any more.
No, I don't care any more.

You say I'm outspoken, that I'm loud, that I'm obtuse.
While I'm here all screwed up, baby, tell me what's your excuse?
Gimme carbohydrates, at four in the morning.
Gimme carbohydrates, 'cause I don't care any more.
No, I don't care any more.